Feb 9, 2008 in News of the Week, Uncategorized
From the Folk Sessions Live! News Bureau in Clearwater, Florida
Germany News: A German airline is now offering nude flights. The flights are great for flight attendants. It makes it easier to spot the guy who ordered the kosher meal.
Iraq News: Saddam Hussein’s FBI interrogator said the dictator’s philosophy was simple: If you teach a man to build a fire, he will be warm all night, but if you set a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life
National News President Bush continued beating the war drums calling the government of Iran “the most dangerous government in the entire world, but he is just being modest.
White House News: First Daughter Jenna Bush has set the date for her wedding. Jenna said she is excited about her marriage, especially the part where she gets to change her name.
Cheney Update: Recently uncovered documents reveal that Vice President Dick Cheney predicted the Iraq Quagmire in a 1994 interview. In a related story, Nostradamus predicted Dick Cheney in 1564.
Dairy News: The price of milk has gone up 36%. Apparently the cows have joined OPEC.
Political News: Experts say the presidential election is an open field with no clear frontrunner for either party. Anyone could end up the winner in the November election except, of course, the American people.
Kentucky News: A man in Kentucky had four of his toes chewed off by a pit bull. It was a grizzly scene with body parts all over the floor. I just couldn’t resist this: They had to call an ambulance and a toe truck.
Nevada News: Barak Obama was endorsed by the Nevada Hookers Union. It is an important endorsement. If you can get the hookers, all you need is about half the magicians and you have the state of Nevada locked up.
Obama Update: Barack Obama apologized for overzealous staffer who injected the race issue into the campaign. Obama said his staffers would no longer point out the fact that he is black and Hillary is an alien.
Random Thought: I am really getting tired of the Republican presidential candidates sniping at each other. Whatever happened to the good old days when the Republican Party was united against the poor?
Reminder: If we preserve habeas corpus, the terrorists will have won.
Sports News: This just in: Frustrated by questions about steroid use, Roger Clemens threw a car at a reporter.
Torre Update: Former Yankee manager, and now L.A. Dodger manager, Joe Torre had knee-replacement surgery: It was his second procedure this off-season. Earlier, he had three Steinbrenners taken off his back.
