From the Folk Sessions Live! News Bureau in Clearwater, Florida

Pentagon News: Officials backed off claims that an Iranian speedboat threatened to ram a U.S. Navy ship. The first clue that they were not suicide bombers might have been that they were wearing those life vests?
State Depart. News: Karen Hughes resigned after trying to improve America’s image in the Arab world. So “Mission Accomplished”! We are now slightly less popular than editorial cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad.

Florida News: The Florida presidential primaries will be held next week, so be sure to get out and vote for the least reprehensible candidate of your choice.

North Dakota News: A farmer is predicting a normal winter based on the size of pig spleens. He tried to get federal funding to prove his prediction, but the government said they are trying to cut back on pork.

Texas Thought: Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed how people in Texas are very quick to point out that George W. Bush was born in Connecticut?

National News: President Bush’s speechwriter, William McGurn, retired. He is going to have a big hole in his resume. “So, what exactly did you do from 2000 to 2007? It says here you did “some of this and a little of that”.

Middle East News: Osama bin Laden’s son, Omar, says he want to be a peace activist. Omar’s star is definitely on the rise. He is already in talks with television to appear in “Growing Up Bin Laden.”

Question of the Week: How were you able to so accurately predict Mitt Romney winning Michigan?

Answer: It was quite simple really. I noticed that Michigan is kind of shaped like a mitten. And then I remembered that Romney’s name is Mitt. And the first rule of primary politics is voters always vote for the candidate whose name is the shape of their state. … Tip O’Neill said it … “All politics is local shapes.”
Comic Book News: In the latest Marvel Comic Book edition Spiderman’s twenty-year-old marriage has fallen apart. Apparently he has been ignoring his wife and spending too much time on the web.
Huckabee Update: To appeal to his base constituency, Mike Huckabee said he will gain back 100 Pounds.

Internet News: According to Google trends, the people in the world most likely to look up homosexual activity on the Internet are in Saudi Arabia. Now that is the ultimate dilemma for Republicans–Gays with oil.

Linguistic News: “Subprime” was named the word of the year for 2007, barely beating out “Predatory.”

Media News: After paying five billion dollars for The Wall Street Journal, Rupert Murdoch announced this week that he will reduce the size of the paper by removing all the facts.

Oprah Update: Oprah Winfrey now owns her own cable network. It is a perfect fit. She now owns her own cable network, talk show, magazine, book club, girls school and presidential candidate.

Smurf News: The Smurfs turn 50 this year. You can tell the cute little creatures are aging. They still eat smurfberries from smilax leaves, but now it is to keep them regular.

Sports News: Terrell Owens cried at his press conference after his team lost to the New York Giants. Hillary Clinton called him in the locker room and told him the trick to winning is to cry before the game.

This Just In

All-knowing, all-seeing deity writing tell-all.

From the Folk Sessions Live! News Bureau in Clearwater Florida

CIA News: Officials say they destroyed interrogation tapes to protect the identities of the interrogators. This administration is gung-ho about protecting the identity of CIA agents. Just ask Valerie Plame.

 Health News: A new study confirms that exercise increases the production of neurons in the brain making people smarter. Can you imagine if President Bush didn’t work out every day?

 Philatelic News: A rare “Inverted Jenny” stamp sold for $825,000. Coincidently, “Inverted Jenny” was also the Secret Service code name for Gennifer Flowers during the Clinton administration.

Business News: Bank of America is buying troubled mortgage giant Countrywide Financial. To make the deal, B. of A. is borrowing $4 billion at 4.25% for the first three years, but then it adjusts higher every year after that.

Sports News: Former Chicago Bears Coach Mike Ditka’s charity fund for injured and retired NFL players collected more than a million dollars, but only handed out fifty thousand. No one knows the whereabouts of the rest of the cash. They don’t call Mike Ditka the honorary mayor of Chicago for nothing.

 Israel News: President Bush visited Israel last week. There was one awkward moment. When President Bush arrived at the airport he was wearing a 10-gallon yarmulke.

CAMPAIGN NEWS

Clinton Update: Hillary Clinton shocked the pollsters and won the New Hampshire primary. It still is not clear what Satan is getting in return.

Huckabee Update: Mike Huckabee would not say if he agrees with Southern Baptists that women should not serve as pastors, but his presidency would have the first inaugural ball where no one is allowed to dance.

Kucinich Update: Dennis Kucinich protested ABC’s unfair requirements, which stipulate that for a presidential candidate to participate in a televised debate supporters must outnumber the candidate’s family and staff.

McCain Update: John McCain won the New Hampshire primary. He is a fascinating story. He spent 5 1/2 years in prison and then went into politics. Usually it is the other way around.

Romney Update: Mitt Romney insists his religion would never affect his policies. He compared himself to Jack Kennedy. The difference between Jack Kennedy and Mitt Romney is Mitt Romney would never support the idea of polygamy.

Reminder: If you have to ask, you can’t afford to vote.

This just in:

U.S. only nation to sign Flat Earth Protocol

The Folk Sessions Radio Show on Internet Radio every Sunday night at 8:05 Arizona time.  amazradio

Sharlot Hall Museum’s Blue Rose Theater presents THE WHISKEY CHAPLAIN, written and directed by Jody Drake. This historical play details the life of Judge Henry Fleury, who arrived in Prescott with the original Governor’s party, and would later influence the life of Sharlot Hall and her passion for history. Performances are May 14-15, 21-22 at 7:30pm, and matinees on May 15 and 22 at 2:00pm. Tickets may be purchased by calling 445-3122.

If you’d like to appear on The Folk Sessions Radio Show or would like us to play your music on the air, please send us a CD or let us know how we can hear your music. contact us   Mail to: Tom Agostino, The Folk Sessions, 3370 Pawnee Trail, CHino Valley,  AZ 86323

From the Folk Sessions Live! News Bureau in Clearwater Florida
North Korea News: After a national intelligence estimate revealed that Iran has halted its nuclear arms program, President Kim Jong-Il ejected Iran from the Axis of Evil. Kim said he was not sure who would replace Iran in the Axis of Evil, but he is looking at Venezuela, Syria, and Rupert Murdoch.
Turkey News: U.S. officials said they were unaware that Turkey was sending bombers to bomb northern Iraq. Turkish officials responded saying it was a part of their military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy.Iowa News: The Iowa caucus was held last week. As you may know, caucus is a Greek word which means, “the only day anyone pays any attention to Iowa.”
New Hampshire News: Barack Obama lost the state’s primary race. He got nearly 55% of the youth vote, but less than 35% of the female vote, He did, however, get 100% of New Hampshire’s black vote, a guy named Harry.
Vermont News: A former home of poet Robert Frost was burglarized during the holidays. The thieves were captured nearby where two roads diverged in the woods, unable to decide which one to take.
Auction News: The Magna Carta was sold at auction. It was signed by King John eight centuries ago and established that the king is not above the law. Or as Dick Cheney calls it, “just a piece of paper”.
Hollywood News: The Writers Guild remains on strike. There appear to be two major issues unresolved. First the writers want a share of Internet revenues, and secondly they want four more years of President Bush.
Clinton Update: Hillary Clinton won the New Hampshire primary. She has always had a soft spot in her heart for the state. New Hampshire’s state motto is Live Free or Die, and Bill had it inserted in their marriage vows.
Huckabee Update: Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee apologized for “unfortunate” remarks he made about Mormonism, telling a reporter, “If they want to drink the blood of human babies, that’s their business.”
Obama Update: Pundits say that Barack Obam’s worship of Oprah Winfrey puts him in the mainstream of American theological belief, and that currently more than 30% of Americans define themselves as “Oprahists.”
Thompson Update: Fred Thompson continues to drop in the polls. First he was a lawyer, then he was an actor and now he is a politician. The descent into hell is easy; it is the climbing out that is tough.
Sports News: Delegates at a track and field convention called on baseball to erase Barry Bonds’ records because of his indictment for perjury. If that happens, the entire Library of Congress may have to go too.

Why a blog I ask. Aren’t there like 2 trillion of them already, with an average readership of one? Do I really have anything interesting enough to say to warrant this real estate in cyberspace? Is anybody out there…actually on sites these days you can tell that, they have little counters in the corner that register, well, never mind, the point is why commit anything to 1’s and 0’s that can come back to haunt me when I run for President. Well, there’s two reasons.One, as host of the Folk Sessions, Live! and The Yavapai College Radio Hour I certainly get to yack enough about all sorts of interesting things, but in both cases I need to reign in my personal opinions so as not to have the station taken off the air, (only kidding, kind of). Really, while listening to great music or interesting guests, who wants to hear a host blabber about their usually ill-informed opinions. While my opinions are neither ill nor informed…wait, let me rephrase that. Of course while MY thoughts are like manna flowing from above, I’ve learned to spare listeners that experience and slip in my subversive messages through the songs I play on the ray-dio (played backwards, they’ll end world hunger AND global warming). So here, with this weblog I can let my lefty, peacenik, tree-huggin’, buddha-lovin’, bush-hatin’ freak flags fly, however torn and tattered.

And two, as Don Charles would say, why the hell not. Got a site, why not have a blog. Heck, on D Squared’s home page there’s poetry for heaven’s sake! Gypsy Soul does live blogging, and Chuck Pyle has “Chuck’s Thoughts on Religion and Spirituality” for crying out loud.So occasional musings, rants, sharings, and interesting, to me at least, tidbits will find there way here from time to time…As I believe an informed electorate is essential to throwin’ the bums out here’s a good political website, and also the funniest political podcast around.www.truthdig.com digging beneath the headlinesThe Bugle An audio newspaper for a video world w/ John Oliver from The Daily Show and Andy Zaltzman, a Brit’s eye view of the world.Happy Birthday Dr. King.

TOM AGOSTINO & SOUL CREEK

Soul Creek, w/ Tom Agostino, Christa Agostino, Meg Bohrman & Kent Gugler

Soul Creek  June 27, 4pm  The Flagstaff Folk Fest

Soul Creek  July 31, 7pm Highlands Center for Natural History opening for Small Potatoes

Seven Rivers, (Folk Sessions Records). This 12 song cd features Tom’s music w/ help from friends Alexa MacDonald, Jan Alexander, Lamar Hill, Kent Gugler, Christa Agostino and others.To Order: email tom@folksessions.com w/ address for shipment. Pay on receiving CD and invoice. Cost is $10. You can listen right hereYavapai College Radio Hour also on KJZA 89.5

Welcome to the Folk Sessions music store. This is the upfront value proposition. Each of the following products can be purchased via Paypal™.

Spirit in the Bone

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The Folk Sessions Live! 2004 Collection

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This is special event #2

this is special event #1